" God found the strongest hearts & had them fall in love with soldiers"
Tell me a little about yourself. Your profile
I am Sukanya Ruhil Ahlawat....well I am a hardcore army brat...only child of my parents...alumni of some of the prestigious & well known schools of India like Maharani Gayatri Devi, Cambrian Hall, Convent of Jesus & Mary...unlike other army children I have been to only few stations & that to the good ones like Dehradun, Bhopal,Amritsar, kolkata,hisar and the last one being the farthermost point of India...Tenga Valley in Arunachal Pradesh.
I am an ardent reader with interest in sports & I am also a singer & a big foodie...have been a gymnast, a swimmer & a basketball player...also a self proclaimed computer whizkid.I am an extrovert in an open thought process...love to meet people and make friends & interact...Professionally i am a Dentist...but since i have wedded the olive greens my full commitment & time is for the elite organisation, my pretty daughter & my fauji abode...Soon gonna complete 5 yrs of married life & have been blessed with a beautiful daughter, who is 20 months old as of now.
Pls share your achievements with us, eg - Award, Certificate, Experiences where you won an championships, any experience with sports. If you a player. Done any charity etc
Ans 2. Tough haven't achieved much in the civil sector or during college life...but i would proudly state here that i am a very active member of my unit n as well as the OG organisation...i have participated enthusiastically in various events and also have done MC during various functions & events. On the welfare front i have given presentations regarding domestic violence & save girl child to enlighten our families to raise their voice against these sensitive issues.i have been appreciated time & again by the seniors of the organisation.
What were the biggest adjustments you had to make regarding your relationship, family and schedule during deployment?
Ans 3. To answer this, i would like to take you a lil back in time...I met, rather i should say found Vivek on Orkut n from there our story began...He being in Pune n me being in Ambala it surely was a long distance relationship...but the solace was i was gonna meet the person who i had been chatting for a while after 21 days...we met in a mall in Delhi n the sparks flew instantly...after a few days of our meeting he was to again leave back for Pune...so to bid him goodbye i came all the way from Ambala a day prior n the next day went to see him off the station...while his train was moving out of the station...i kept on wishing if only the train could stop for some more time so that i could get some more time to spend...that is when i realised that it was the beginning of the many long waiting periods that were to come my way if i am to marry this man...Once he reached back, v started having long phone conversations getting to know each other better...but then who said love is easy...so Vivek used to call me late night n the conversation would go till early hours of the morning cause of which i would at times get late for my classes...n with all the late night calls n adjustments came the ups & downs...after all life is not a bed of roses...so many a times Vivek would have a doubt if he could or not continue being with me...but i was never ready to give up on him n now at times i wonder as to what was it that kept me put in the hard times...may be this is what is destiny....
So one fine day after his degree completed he called me told me that he was to move to Arunachal...n i being aware of the connectivity issues there i knew that its going to be all the more difficult to keep up the conversation...but initially he managed to call from a std booth that was far from his place...being in Pune where we spoke every day now i was getting to speak to him only once in a week & that to for mere 10 mins or so...but soon enough this was also going to stop as one day he called me & told me that he wont be able to call from that day on as firstly he cannot afford to spare time cause of his busy schedule & secondly he has to see the welfare of his men first & can't speak to me for long hours when his men were waiting to speak to their families in long que...so i kept the phone with tears in my eyes but still not ready to give up coz he had given me the option to move on if i wished cause he understood that i would not want to waste my time on someone who had no time for me...but then after all love is not bout giving up...so i found an alternate & an interesting way to keep in touch...
So one fine day after his degree completed he called me told me that he was to move to Arunachal...n i being aware of the connectivity issues there i knew that its going to be all the more difficult to keep up the conversation...but initially he managed to call from a std booth that was far from his place...being in Pune where we spoke every day now i was getting to speak to him only once in a week & that to for mere 10 mins or so...but soon enough this was also going to stop as one day he called me & told me that he wont be able to call from that day on as firstly he cannot afford to spare time cause of his busy schedule & secondly he has to see the welfare of his men first & can't speak to me for long hours when his men were waiting to speak to their families in long que...so i kept the phone with tears in my eyes but still not ready to give up coz he had given me the option to move on if i wished cause he understood that i would not want to waste my time on someone who had no time for me...but then after all love is not bout giving up...so i found an alternate & an interesting way to keep in touch...
i went back into olden times..started writing letters twice in a week, though never got a reply back but the solace & satisfaction of sharing my day to day activities & at the same time expressing my feelings to him through letters, never made me feel that he was far away, soon i got the news that he had the option of changing his arms & as he chose engineers he was to report to jhansi...my happiness knew no bounds & the happiness was cause at least it will be easier to keep in touch...eventually our parents came to know about us, though my mother was a bit hesitant of the relation initially but she came around and from lovers we advanced to being engaged to each other....now the courtship period wasn't so lovey dovey..it had its bad days n finally the d-day arrived when we both became man & wife......being married isn't easy either...with new relations come new expectations & v getting married at an early age compared to others who get married a bit late were immature to handle a lot of situations which made our 1st year of marriage a bit sweet & sour...the first separation i saw was immediately after 2 months of married life n thn again in the 9th month of married life...when he got posted out of the unit to Kashmir, n he left for the same a day prior to my birthday...i went to the station to see him off n while going from chandigarh to ambala i had tears in my eyes but never let them roll down n i saw him off with a smile , thinking what & how would i be able to do without him in a big house...the only good thing about that period was my pet Bruno...who never let the feeling of lonliness & separation set in& also i am grateful to my immediate family members, my unit...they never made me feel as if Vivek wasn't there, time flew & we completed a yr in marriage for which he was sweet enough to surprise me by coming home for the anniversary...but then here i would like to share with you all an interesting incident...with the anniversary surprise rose my expectations n i was expecting my husband to be on leave during december....but due to some change in his schedule he called & told me 1 day prior to when his leave was to start that he won't be coming in december but in february...n here comes the incident i want to share with you all...with my confidence in the organisation and my immature heart i directly spoke to my husband's commanding officer (CO) requesting him not to postpone my husband's leave as i was eagerly waiting for him to come home..n here i would proudly want to tell you that its only in army that such things happen...the CO immediately did what ever he could n sent my husband on leave without delay...i am sharing this cause here i want to say that its only the OG organisation where such things can happen where a young officer's wife has such a blind faith on the CO of another unit that she directly requests him to send her husband on leave with immediate effect & i must say that we were lucky & blessed to have a CO like him who did not make my request to him an ego issue....
Coming to the recent times i would want to share the moments while i was carrying my daughter...i concieved my daughter while we were in Pune n this was the very first time in my 3 years of married life that i got a chance to play holi & celebrate my birthday, his birthday n diwali for the very 1 st time together...coming back to the point as the course got over n my hubby being a doting husband & a responsible father to be sent me fom pune to delhi, iwas in my 5th month then...i came n stayed at my parents place from the 5th month till my daughter was 4 months...so these 8 months were like 8 years for me...stuck in one room with nothing much to do...n till now there are many adjustments that we make every single day...my husband wasn't able to come on our daughter's 1st b'day...so to summarize it all..i would say that adjusment & understanding are a part & parcel of this life..its totally opposite of what we watch in movies hence someone has said it rightly & i quote " God found the strongest hearts & had them fall in love with soldiers"....Army life is just not about canteen or clubs or parties...these r one side of a mirror that most people see & get attracted to...the real side is the adjusment, the sacrifice, the unseen tears and loss of many precious moments & memories that only the people leading the life go through...
What is the hardest part about being an army wife
Ans 4. I just wish that God never gives us any hardships n i am lucky to say that i don't find the day to day hassles of our life as hardships...yes definitely...packing your stuff & resettling it in the farthermost corners of india, the separation period, negligiance towards kids due to activities, MES issues & many more such things are a day to day affair of an army wife...but plz jus come to think of the ladies & many of them too young or with small kids & at times even unborn kids who lost their husbands in the line of duty or in any accident...they are the ones who face the true hardships...be it an officer wife or an OR wife...none of us too be true are aware of the financial standings of our husbands till the time an actual requirement of it to be known arises....i would say that only 10% of us know & that too is just the officers wives...i have seen cases where many of us even don't have joint accounts...which is one of the important steps to be completed after marriage...i am mentioning the hardships of the Army widows cause i have seen & heard many cases including officers wives, running from pillar to post to be aware of their rights & their dues after their husband's death...especially it becomes all the more difficult for OR wives who mostly come from villages & are unaware of many things...though i wouldn't say that it is any easier for officers wives but still being educated, having a strong family background & support gives them an upper hand in such situations...all i pray is that none of us ever get to see this phase of life...Amen
Coming to myself...the hardships that i have faced in these 5 years of married life when my husband is not around or even if he is around is that my daughter gets neglected due to the activities the ladies are supposed to be a part of now & then...i hate the idea of my daughter being in the hands of maid or buddy but due the frequency of activities the ladies are involved in it takes a toll on children be it a junior lady or a senior lady...
From whom do you get support while he’s gone?
Ans 5. Support- I feel is a very big word....personally in 5 years of my married life these past 2 years are the only years that i have required support & the reason for the same is my daughter...n i am very proud to say that my parents are the ones who have been with me & supported me in every possible way...n yes, my anchor are my 1st family...my unit...the unit is the 1st support system a lady has when the husband is not around.
What have you learned about yourself and your relationship throughout the process of deployment? Do you think your relationship became stronger because of it?
Ans 6. Yes definitely, the deployment is tough but it makes the hearts grow fonder & distance is nothing when the love is real...i feel that the distance keeps the sparks alive...the love is endless..everytime me meet after a long sepration...its like the same old college romance of a boy & girl...there are always so may things to talk about & share..every moment is precious & cherised...every birthday & anniversary a special one...every festival is celebrated in a grand way..every welcome is a special one...so no matter how tough deployments are every army family faces it with a smile...so i would just say that live every moment to the fullest as each passing day just gets you closer to each other.
What advice would you give other military spouses in your position?
Ans 7. I wouldn't give any advice as such cause everyone gets to learn with their own experience...all i would like to convey everyone is that the life is short & that we should live it to the fullest, so when we get old we dont have the qualms of not having fulfilled or achieved what we had desired for...also i would want to say that ladies be strong & independent in every possible way cause you are the one on whom everything is dependent so if you are not independent then the life becomes a bit difficult...so be strong in every possible way
Is there anything else I should know about you, your work or military life?
Ans 8. No, there's nothing much to share about...i have shared almost every possible thing...but yes i would like to say something about the military life....military life is not all about bed of roses...it has its thorns too...as it is said that grass is always greener on the other side so this life also has its greens & autumns...
Share how can anyone being an army Wife lookout for prospering career options, what are the best career options available ?
Ans 9. Of what i have seen, today's ladies are very well educated & qualified... most ladies before getting married to their men are successful in their careers...but as one gets married to the man adorning the OG's..the career goes for a six...especially ladies working in mnc's or other civil sectors like doctors, mba aspirants, air hostess for that matter ant career...i feel that either one should be strong & mentally prepared to face separation & have a long distance relationship or sacrifice the career & concentrate a family life & if u are a career women then teaching is the best option an army wife can pursue...that allows to have a family life as well as an independent & financially secure life or if someone is confident can have their own personal business.
In the end i would just say that live your life to the fullest never have regrets what not having done what you wished for be it army life or civil life & don't get bedazzled just by the looks of something...everything has its positives & negatives. Give life your best & the life will give its best.
Thank you!!
Thanks Sukanya for enlightening us regarding the Life an Army wife goes through. We are very proud to have had an Interview with you today.
Take Care,
Love and Hugs,
Priyanka
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